Friday, September 25, 2009


one of my greatest fears in life is that i am going to accidentally eat a bug.

okay, it's not one off my greatest fears, like drowning or experiencing the sensation of melting flesh. or being stuck in an elevator with ann coulter (that's likely above both drowning and the melting flesh thing.) accidentally eating a bug probably falls somewhere around having to just ride in the elevator with ann coulter.

i would consider eating a bug on purpose. but to suddenly have 6 to 260 little legs paddling furiously against your tongue (or worse - the back of your throat) when you expected only a tortilla chip and a chunk of week-old salsa seems to me like it would be one of the most horrible experiences you could have.


  1. Thank you, Tony Clements, for placing a thought so incredibly chilling in my head at 7:30 in the morning. Any day I can go without thinking about insects like that is a good day.

    .....and the Bug down your throat thing is gross too.



  2. Tony.
    I hate to tell you this but people swallow on average of 8-12 bugs a year (maybe more) when sleeping. In a year Spiders alone... 8 per-year. The spiders are small harmless spider but have been known to hid in ears (which is possible), and in the nose. But don't fear because these are not huge spiders but rather, Bimmo Spiders, the tiny little ones that seem to float. They are perfectly harmless. But...Insect parts do not seem to be digested well so they remain in the large intestine for an extended period of time and eventually make their way out about 90 days after being consumed. But being a sleep you never know.

    So, I guess I would worry more about being stick in a elevator with Ann Coulter because you've had bugs before, just never knew it.

    All the best!

  3. This happened to me (the bug thing, not the Ann Couter thing, but she is rather bug-like, so who knows?) when I was 5 years old, and it was chilling. I was eating an oreo when I walked brushed a bush in our yard to have it rain its beautiful flower petals on me as I passed. Well, an ant was also enjoying said bush and fell off of the bush and into my mouth. I experienced a wiggling cookie. Freaked completely out, I spit the cookie bite into my hand to discover HALF an ant in amongst the cookie bits. I will never forget the horror of that moment.


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