Wednesday, May 6, 2009

f-fwd idol: gokey fail wrap-up

64 million idol votes this week. if each of those people sent me $1...

swing choir alice cooper. school's out. wow, danny gokey: call me, because i need to tell you to stop the riffing dude. alice cooper didn't riff in this song and you shouldn't either. (if only alice were there he could bite ryan peecrust's head off.) peecrust looks especially dorkulous standing next to slash's hair (which is actually an old cher wig, circa "take me home".)

um. are we all gonna watch "glee" or what?

ryan is so f-ing excited about led zepplin. (!) adam lambert: i loved my outfit this week. and with that, hundreds of teenage girls across the country ran screaming into their bedrooms to rip the adam lambert poster off the wall. (my niece had a poster of elton john on her bedroom wall for about ten minutes, too.)

danny jokes about his horror scream. yeah. well.

uh-oh. here she comes! paula abdul! this is a little like watching your mother sing at a birthday party. and that's pretty much all i have to say about that.

did you dvr the idol program tonight? if so, go to 9:25. ryan with paula. peecrust asks the audience, "jew guys enjoy that?" and they cut to the crowd for about 3 seconds. this is important: in the lower right hand corner of the screen is one random 10-year old boy who has been hypnotized by the flashing lights and paula's shiny alien teeth. if you pause, you can see a trickle of drool dripping down his chin. i'm a little concerned he's wandered in from some psych ward and now will never recover.

yeah, this "former contestants going home a star" segment is sweet. every one of those people now walk out of their hotels and think either, "holy shit, where did all those fans go?" or "holy shit, someone make these people go away." i guarantee.

results. i'm kinda nervous. adam: soon as you're done - gym, okay? first person safe – kris. he was genuinely surprised. he hugged adam and allison. no hug for danny, just a grab on the shoulder like, "it's you, dude."

chris daughtry is hot, but that facial hair has got to go.

second person safe – results can only be delivered in dim light. adam is gay safe. shocker.


allison is going home. i seriously am surprised. and the look she gets from danny is...well. my whole impression of him has changed. that looked like, "well, we kind of saw that coming, didn't we hun?" i hope i'm wrong, but man.

so, this is where i go on about allison. paula is right – she really is unmistakable. and...i'm sorry if i've said this before, but i totally believe her. i believe this pain, i believe this angst is in her. at 17 years old. i think she is really, really special. and i'm honestly sad to see her go.

so it's the boys club. do we really think kris can make it past next week?


  1. they should clarify how they count the can we trust them...Allison's gone ?!!? for's just hard to beleive that people like Gokey or that lil boy Kris that they even listen???

  2. interesting daughtry (4th place finisher) was on tonite when another very strong performer finished 4th. you would think that would be enough of a reminder that the american people and this show are not perfect predictors and that there is no conspiracy for or against any performer.
    i agree with tony--allison has a lot of potential and look forward to her maturing as a singer and artist.
    my first concert was alice cooper. an older brother's buddy was sick and he had an extra ticket. i was in 5th or 6th grade. from our seats we could see alice cooper backstage throwing peanuts at burton cummings (opening act) during his set. very funny.

  3. I'm bummed to see Allison go. She's been one of my faves all along. And I thought her farewell song was the best we've seen this season -- and the most relaxed performance of hers yet. I look forward to seeing how far her career goes, and I'm sure I'll be buying some Allison iTunes in the near future.

    Re: Danny joking about his scream, well, it seemed to me like he got on the blogs the night before, realized America is increasingly thinking he's an egotistical d-bag, and decided to wayyyyy overcompensate with feigned self-deprecation. ("This is me laughing at myself! See? See?")

  4. I DVR the show every week and I always check your synopsis because you and I are always on the same sentence, same BF always laughs because I call 'em like I see 'em and Simon always echoes my predictions! Mensa smart? Maybe...Pop Culture savvy? Absolutely! Miss you love you!


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