Monday, March 23, 2009

whose elephant is this...?

did someone save an elephant? anyone?

in 1941, just before the belfast blitz of world war II, the belfast zoo destroyed many of its residents for fear that if there were a bomb strike, they would get loose and, well, do what wild animals do. eat people.

one hyena, six wolves, one puma, one tiger, one black bear, two polar bears, one lynx and a giant rat were among the animals "dispatched." head zookeeper dick foster "stood by with tears streaming down his face as the executioners proceeded from cage to cage." when they got to the giant rat, however, foster stopped crying and did a james cagney impersonation.

prior to all of this zoo-thanasia, some nice zoo lady snuck this elephant into her backyard. ("is that an elephant in your backyard or are you just happy to see me?") she fed it, presumably cleaned up after it (you should've seen that garden!) and kept it there until the war was over.

today, no one knows who she was.

how...? i mean, c'mon. how do you have an elephant in your backyard for any amount of time and not be known, oh, i don't know...as the lady with an elephant in her backyard? or the elephant woman? or that crazy lady who always smells like elephant?

apparently this elephant underground railroad was the best kept secret during the war (okay, one of the best kept secrets) because today, the belfast zoo is reaching out to old elephant lovers around the world with this teeny-tiny photograph (no, it doesn't get any bigger) in hopes that someone will recognize the woman, her friend, the elephant, or the backyard (none of which are very distinctive.) if you recognize anyone in the photo ("why, i'd know that elephant ass anywhere!") you are urged to phone 028-9077-6277.

in the meantime, i've begun writing a disney screenplay about a woman who falls in love with an elephant during the war, and...

1 comment:

  1. Holy fuck! That's uncle Charlie! The Woods men always had a little junk in their trunk.

    ReplyDelete

Inappropriate comments, including spam and advertising, will be removed.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.