Sunday, March 1, 2009

take me to your leader

he's young, he's vibrant, he's incredibly well-spoken, and he's what washington insiders are calling "a new republican."

he has what some would call fairly liberal social views, to a point, but he's a fiscal conservative to his core. above all, his offbeat demeanor and surprising sense of humor make him terrifically appealing to young and old alike. and if the republicans can remake their party in his image, they may not win huge majorities in congress or take back the white house – right away – but they will finally have the beginning of what could be a very healthy, successful return to power.

his name is:

wouldn't every republican like to see a name right here?

there isn't one. the politician described above does not exist.

or does he?

as the grand old party struggles to regain it's footing, it's interesting to see them flail about against the juggernaut that is obama. as they flop around and wave their arms, they keep trying to be obama, or at least appeal to voters the way he does. young – bobby jindal. black – michael steele. appealing – eric cantor.
female – sarah palin. hip – hip? zip. republican's are just not hip.

they're not. but they so want to be. they so want some of obama's swagger, and basketball cool. which is their biggest problem. they need to embrace their unhipness and be honest. they need to stop pretending to be all those things they are not, and embrace who they are:

they are nerds.

michael steele and bobby jindal are perfect examples. steele has been running around using urban-suburban hip-hop lingo since he was chosen to chair the rnc, except that's not who he is. you can take one look at the guy and see he's not "street" in any way, shape, or form - he is a giant nerd. so why is he trying to be puff-michael?

bobby jindal is incredibly appealing. really, he is - he's smart, he's well spoken, and in virtually every other speech he's given, he's much, much less of a goober. but last tuesday night he turned on the romper room style, and showed his true nerd colors. pass the pocket protectors and call lady elaine fairchilde.

with obama in the white house, the republicans can't look to a nerd for leadership.

so there's a void. there's a void of clear, honest leadership in the republican party, and when opportunists see a void, they jump in. now we have people like ann coulter, joe the plumber, and - worst of all - rush limbaugh stepping up to fill that void. these people, especially limbaugh, are now the voice of the republican party, much to the dismay of many people in the republican party.

wouldn't we all have much more respect for a smart, charismatic young nerd who, instead of going on the attack for the next four years, simply provided honest, steadfast opposition? someone who didn't use the arts, or fountains in miami, or field mice, or moose in montana (was that a paternity issue?) to make their case, but instead stood up and said "here are the things i disagree with, and here is why."

better yet, wouldn't we rather that nerd stand up and say "here are the things i am for"?

i'm gonna tell you, that nerd is out there.
we just don't know him yet.

1 comment:

  1. Haha...I totally got nervous at the beginning of this post. Well done.

    But listen, I don't think (and I think you're saying this, too) that the Republican image is out of touch with the American people. I think the Republican platform/values/issues are out of touch with the American people.

    Democrats have long had the stronghold on being the "populist" party, Republicans the party of the (real) elite.

    I just don't understand why they believe that the reason we don't buy their BS anymore is because they haven't dressed it up in baggy pants and a backwards baseball cap. It's not the package, it's the product. Lipstick on a pig, and all that...

    The sad state of politics in this day and age is that we cannot take anything back. Our politicians must be golden idols, perfect in all things. Look at how quickly that philosophy is destroying similar institutions like the Catholic church (who just recently indoctrinated evolution. Recently. Evolution. Irony anybody?)

    So there's that.


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