or a christmas tree, a three-dollar bill, and me.
last night, less than 36 hours after returning to the united states, i was seated in the mezzanine of the palace theater watching liza minnelli make her triumphant return to broadway. and – this makes me extra gay – i cried. twice.
look. judy garland has special meaning to those of us in the "community." she's our mother. and at the same time, she's us. she's dorothy, she's tragic, she's strong, she's weak, she's tortured, she runs away from home only to find there's no place like it, she's been over the rainbow and back, and, well, there are plenty of other reasons. some super top-secret reasons that we just can't divulge to the straights. so stop asking. sorry.
and – now i don't know if you knew this – liza minnelli is judy garland's daughter. she might be 102 years old, enjoy plastic joints where even barbie doesn't, and warble with a voice that...well i can't. (and neither can she anymore.) but no matter, she is liza. she just is. there's no one like her, and there ain't gonna be another. she's the last of a dying...or dead...breed.
last night she told jokes about her gay husbands. she performed a song as a man in drag. she giggled and laughed that crazy liza laugh ("your really t-scherrific!") the first time she said the word "mamma" the audience erupted into applause, basically crying out "we're a part of your life, liza! we're a part of your family! damnit, we're a part of you!" and she agreed. she strutted and posed and mugged and said "cha!"
and she performed (sang would be generous) "cabaret" and "maybe this time" and "the world goes 'round." and "new york, new york." on a broadway stage. at the palace theater. and i was there. she did an encore that took even me by surprise and had me spontaneously sobbing like a big gay baby. of course, i'm still suffering from some serious jet-lag. i'm sure that contributed.
but this means i'm basically one degree from dorothy.
and i'm as queer as a...well. you get it.