Wednesday, December 17, 2008

the media is unbiased

have you noticed the mainstream media tripping "all" over itself to link barack obama and his staff to the blagojevich festival in illinois? the parsing and examining of words and meaning is remarkable and educational. (yes, three "ands" in that sentence. and...?) not since i learned (or didn't learn) the meaning of "is" have i been so non-entertained. it makes watching cnn, msnbc and fox 24-hours a day downright annoying. isn't this the same liberal media that got obama elected? it's as if the rnc isn't doing it's job. (oh wait, they are.)

in the words of the esteemed wolf blitzer, "get this": after obama's brief presser today (his daily presser, one might say) msnbc's david shuster (who's photo appears in webster's three times – next to definitions of "annoying," "annoyingly nasal" and "shut up") and bob franken (just...old) basically picked apart the meaning of the word "all."
shuster: obama said that in a week there would be answers to all reporters' questions about the blagojevich scandal. all? does he really think he's going to answer all questions about this scandal? all?

franken: all?

shuster: all.

franken: no, really. all?

shuster: he said all. i heard him.

franken: david, what do you think he meant by all?

shuster: one could only assume he meant...all. as in "all." as in "all people find me annoying," or "all your teeth are falling out."

franken: did he mean all questions? or all reporters?

shuster: (nasally) uhh...yes.


franken: maybe he meant "awl." you know? "awwwwl."

shuster: awl?

franken: shoemakers use it to punch holes in leather.

shuster: i wear crocs. besides, i think it was pretty clear: "all."

franken: do you wear socks with your crocs?

shuster: nylon support hose. helps with the edema and vericose veins.

franken: well, to your point. i've been doing this for 127 years, and i've never...all?

shuster: let's play that part if the news conference again.

franken: all of it?
imagine if the press had asked this many questions in the lead-up to the iraq war. or about torture, and war-crimes committed by cheney, bush & rumsfeld (whoops! no need to ask anymore, cheney just confessed.) of course, it's much more important to speculate endlessly on the possibility of a scandal in the not-yet-inagurated president elect's not-yet-installed cabinet. obama's on that pedestal, no time like the present to start knocking him off it. somebody give me a tomato.

if only the press would drag down the people who were really involved in this scandal. people like jesse jackson jr, who...whoops again! only days ago, jackson's political career was over, according to folks like msnbc's chuck todd. today? over-schmover.

if there is some "there" there, if obama or his staff are more involved than we know, if rahm emmanual was the closer in the "sale" of obama's former senate seat, that's a problem and we should re-hold the presidential election to get sarah palin in there.

so far, it's actually not a problem. patrick fitzgerald said it's not: the criminal complaint "makes no allegations about the president-elect whatsoever -- his conduct." fitzgerald also cautioned the press to "not cast aspersions on people for being named or being discussed or if you learn they're being interviewed." so much for caution. barack obama said it's not: the president-elect had "no contact with the governor or his staff, and that the president-elect's staff was not involved in inappropriate discussions with the governor or his staff over the selection of his successor as us senator." parse that. caroline kennedy said...well, she hasn't said much. but as far as obama-rahm-blago goes, let's know more before we pole-vault to conclusions.

in the meantime, can we stick to the important issues? i wanna know if that was really caylee's skull they found in florida.

1 comment:

  1. What makes ME nuts about Shuster is the way he uses his mouth. It becomes a complete rectangle most of the time.


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