Friday, February 1, 2008

you remind me of someone

i just looked at a composite picture of mccain/romney/clinton/obama (ladies and gentlemen, the next president of the united states) and i thought, "why is it that i like the last two so much more than the first two?" i mean, in my gut?

i wonder if it has something to do with who each reminds me of:

JOHN MCCAIN -- at 71 years old is my grandpa schultz. now, i loved my grandpa schultz a lot, but here are some of the things he did best: carving the turkey on thanksgiving day, hunting deer and making tasty venison sausage, taking care of grandma schultz, and falling dead asleep in his rocking chair immediately after dinner. with his mouth wide open. snoring. this is not who i envision running the country.

MITT ROMNEY -- is a used car salesman, hands down. a used car salesman in kenosha, wisconsin. his hair, his demeanor, his skill at shifting positions to suit the time of day...good god his name even! mitt?! c'mon people! look, i wouldn't trust this guy to give me a good deal on an '92 buick lesabre, much less trust him to be the president of the united states!

HILLARY CLINTON -- is a sixth grade social studies teacher. i can hear her yelling at the kid screwing around in the back of class. or see her throwing a chalkboard eraser at someone who's not listening, or writing out yellow detention slips to dave gaudes. but i'm on her good side, i learn a lot from her, and i go back to visit her once i'm in high school.

BARACK OBAMA -- is a high school guidance counselor. he's really smart, but mostly he's warm and fuzzy. he'd say things like "well mr. clements, what is it you want to accomplish in life?" and i'd want to give the right answer. i'd spend study hall in his office, talking about student council, or my mom and dad, or starsky and hutch. like clinton: a teacher.

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